Preach loud truth
420 blaze it Tollers
Jam session
Ceiling Lolkien
Shoot the Tolkpedo
Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

About My Autobiography

My new students and followers kept asking me for stories from my exciting life as Tolkien's prophet. So I finally decided to publish my autobiography as a little novella.

"Beneath Unwashed Robes" retells the first part of my life - my education as a Tolkien expert, my time as underwater warrior, and my rise to leader of a world religion. It ends with the difficult time I had after my temple was destroyed.

Today, of course, more could be said. There are whispers that a second volume is in the making, "Beyond Unwashed Robes", but these are really just unfounded whispers at this point.

Download the book as PDF file    Read the book online

Beneath Unwashed Robes
The print version. Don't be scared, it is really just a short novella. It looks so thick because I chose "gold-laced cardboard" as option for the pages at the bookbinder. That gives the pages maximum stability when you take the book with you, for example, on an expedition to the North Pole.

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24 April 2015

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Tolkien A-Z

A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!


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Or meet me in person. I hold daily sermons in front of my prophet cave in the desert, whenever the voices tell me to. A small donation is welcome.