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How Ten Identical Tolkiens Attempted to Buy Zucchini

How ten identical J.R.R. Tolkiens came to a greengrocer and attempted to buy zucchini.

 

In 1961, ten identical J.R.R. Tolkiens went to the greengrocer in Oxford to buy zucchini. "Okay", said the greengrocer. "Who of you guys is the original J.R.R. Tolkien? Because I will give only him the best, freshest of my zucchini!"

"You have to find that out yourself", said Tolkien #1.

"Then answer me one question", said the shopkeeper. "Do balrogs have wings?"

"Yes", said Tolkien #1.
"No", said Tolkien #2.
"Only one", said Tolkien #3.
"Shadowy ones", said Tolkien #4.
"Non-functional ones", said Tolkien #5.
"Detachable ones", said Tolkien #6.
"Metaphorical ones", said Tolkien #7.
"Only on Tuesdays", said Tolkien #8.
"Propellers", said Tolkien #9.
"I am not sure myself", said Tolkien #10.

The shopkeeper thought long and hard. Then he spoke. "None of you is the real Tolkien", he said. "The real J.R.R. Tolkien has stayed at home. He sent his clones to do the shopping while he does something naughty with his wife."

And all the Tolkiens applauded his wisdom. Then, they bought all his zucchini, including the very best one, and this evening the smell of the best zucchini casserole ever wafted through the streets of Oxford.


Zucchini (symbolic picture)
Zucchini (symbolic picture)

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