Preach loud truth
420 blaze it Tollers
Jam session
Ceiling Lolkien
Shoot the Tolkpedo
Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

Tolkien Forms a Football Team

Tolkien gathers all his friends on the playing field for some sports activity. Or does he?


Tolkien forms a football team!
Or at least, so it would seem.
They all gather in the field
And Tolkien does the football wield.

There, of course, is C.S. Lewis,
To whom all this something new is.
He just has a very mad chat
With - oh yes! it's Terry Pratchett!

There is also J.K. Rowling,
Who thinks football is a low thing.
Even more glum, David Eddings
Says he would prefer to get drinks.

Stephenie "The Sparkle" Meyer
Sparkles like someone on fire,
And who can as well be seen?
Yes! It's Ursula Le Guin.

The field now looks just like a full van.
There is even Philip Pullman.
With Hugo Dyson he cracks jokes.
Well, they are that type of blokes.

"Tolkien, come, give us the ball!"
Say and yell and shout them all.
"Let's have fun and do some sports!
We heard it is fun of sorts!"

But Tolkien, he is smarter than
All of them. He has a plan.
"This", he snarls to J.K. Rowling,
"Is not football...
   ...It is bowling!"

And at them he throws the ball,
and they all get hit and fall.
Many points did Tolkien score!
That was what he came here for.

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A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!


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