Preach loud truth
420 blaze it Tollers
Jam session
Ceiling Lolkien
Shoot the Tolkpedo
Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

Tolkien and Napoleon

A poem about how Tolkien almost wrote Lord of the Rings in the year 1813.


The cannon was loaded.
"Damn, he is gone"
Said Napoleon.

In eighteen-thirteen
Tolkien was not seen
'Cause he exploded
When cannon was loaded.

Who was to blame?
Not any name.
Just an accident
That very badly went.

Eighty long years
People had fears
He was gone forever
Would return never.

But then trumpets rang
And angels sang:
"No longer mourn!
Tolkien is reborn!"

Had this event
Not thusly happen'd
In eighteen-thirteen
We would have seen

"Lord of the Rings" written
- I would've been smitten! -
A full century

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A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!


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