Preach loud truth
420 blaze it Tollers
Jam session
Ceiling Lolkien
Shoot the Tolkpedo
Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

Tolkien and... Pumpkins

A student inquired: "How could I have done J.R.R. Tolkien a favour? How could I possibly have impressed him?"


Well, let me tell you a little story. In 1970, a fan went to the house of J.R.R. Tolkien on Halloween to bring him a delicately carved pumpkin. He had carved the full text of Lord of the Rings onto it! He had used a microscopic knife! It had taken him ten years to complete the task. Unfortunately, meanwhile, the pumpkin had become rotten and really smelly. So J.R.R. Tolkien was not happy. "Begone, foul dwimmerlaik", he shouted whilst holding his nose. Then he poured five gallons of hot pumpkin soup over the offending fan's head. Screaming and howling, the fan fled.

The moral of this story is, diligence is useless when you are stupid.

Latest Additions

Random Truth

Tolkien Horoscope

Is it a good, difficult or bad day to read Tolkien?

Choose your zodiac sign:

Your horoscope:

Featured Content

Tolkien A-Z

A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!


Visit me on Facebook:


Or meet me in person. I hold daily sermons in front of my prophet cave in the desert, whenever the voices tell me to. A small donation is welcome.