Preach loud truth
420 blaze it Tollers
Jam session
Ceiling Lolkien
Shoot the Tolkpedo
Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

Tolkien and... Smoked Eel

A student inquired: "Did J.R.R Tolkien really invent smoked eel?"


Yes! The truth is, in 1957, J.R.R. Tolkien was the first person who walked to the North Pole *under* the ice, on the seafloor, without a diving suit. He merely wore his old swimming trunks (the ones imprinted with little teddy bears). Of course, he smoked his pipe on the way to keep warm. He had stretched his pipeweed with magnesium, so it burned underwater.

After his success, Tolkien emerged from the sea in Tromsø, Norway, where the Kings of Norway, Sweden and Finland welcomed and applauded him. But something was not right! A strange, but tasty odor was coming out of Tolkien's pipe! It turned out an arctic eel had slipped in to seek warmth, but deceased in the magnesium fumes. The eel was now magnificiently smoked!

"Here, Your Majesties", Tolkien said and bowed low. "I present you a new invention, Smoked Eel. Please make it your national dish."

The kings jubilated ecstatically and made it so.

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A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!


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