A student inquired: "Does Santa Claus really exist?"

Of course he does. And this is not good news.

The truth is, Santa Claus is one of the most evil persons in the world! He is a fat American Coca-Cola employee who murdered Father Christmas in 1942 and usurped his place. The older ones among you may still remember 1942 as the year when the good, hand-made presents stopped coming and were replaced by cheap plastic toys.

Father Christmas was different. He was a gentle old man, a great scholar and a personal friend of J.R.R. Tolkien. They wrote each other many letters, which Tolkien has published as a book.

it could have gotten even worse, though. In 1943, alarmed by Santa Claus' coup, the Nazis attacked the North Pole to replace him with yet another person of their choosing, Obersturmbannführer von Weihnachtsmann. Their coup was foiled, however, by Indiana Jones.