Preach loud truth
420 blaze it Tollers
Jam session
Ceiling Lolkien
Shoot the Tolkpedo
Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

Tolkien and... Santa Claus

A student inquired: "Does Santa Claus really exist?"

 

Of course he does. And this is not good news.

The truth is, Santa Claus is one of the most evil persons in the world! He is a fat American Coca-Cola employee who murdered Father Christmas in 1942 and usurped his place. The older ones among you may still remember 1942 as the year when the good, hand-made presents stopped coming and were replaced by cheap plastic toys.

Father Christmas was different. He was a gentle old man, a great scholar and a personal friend of J.R.R. Tolkien. They wrote each other many letters, which Tolkien has published as a book.

it could have gotten even worse, though. In 1943, alarmed by Santa Claus' coup, the Nazis attacked the North Pole to replace him with yet another person of their choosing, Obersturmbannführer von Weihnachtsmann. Their coup was foiled, however, by Indiana Jones.

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Tolkien A-Z

A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!

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Or meet me in person. I hold daily sermons in front of my prophet cave in the desert, whenever the voices tell me to. A small donation is welcome.