A student inquired: "Is it true that Tolkien once supplied all of Oxford with electricity?"

It is the truth. In 1940, the Nazis bombed Oxford and knocked out the electric power plant. Now ideas are electrical in nature, since they are stored as electric current in the neurons of your brain. And J.R.R. Tolkien had the largest amount of ideas ever recorded in human history. So the mayor of Oxford recruited Tolkien as a power plant!

They affixed wires to his ears and powered Oxford for a month until the normal power plant was repaired. Every day, dozens of people flocked to Tolkien's house to thank him! "Thank you for restoring our electric power!" they shouted and brought him offerings of lasagna baked with his very own energy.

The mayor wanted to employ Tolkien's services even longer, but Tolkien refused to extend the contract for two reasons: He needed the ideas to resume writing The Lord of the Rings. And the wires on his body affected his love life.