A student inquired: "How many toes did Tolkien have?"

The truth is revealed through etymology. I found out that Tolkien's family name is a contraction of "Toe-L-Kin". "L", as we all know, is the Roman numeral for 50. I therefore cannot deny the fact that he had not only 11 or 12 toes, like most of us, but a whopping 50!

I only ever saw Tolkien wearing normal shoes, though. So I assume all the toes must have been much thinner than usual ones, or they wouldn't have fit in.

Having so many toes also explains nicely why Tolkien could run so fast. In 1957, he ran from Oxford to Paris and back in just 13 minutes, because Edith wanted fresh baguettes for Sunday morning breakfast. Tolkien was a very loving husband! Unfortunately, because he stormed so quickly over it, this made the old Roman bridge over the English Channel collapse. That is why they had to dig that new tunnel later.