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420 blaze it Tollers
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Ceiling Lolkien
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Poke the Heretic
Chaika? Yes Chaika

Tolkien and... Nails and Screws

A student inquired: "Was Tolkien good at handicraft?"

 

Verily. The truth is, J.R.R. Tolkien could drive a nail into a block of wood just by shouting at it. It was ancient Nordic magic that he discovered during his studies of Anglo-Saxon - most probably an extremely localized and controlled variety of Fus-ro-dah.

With screws, it was not that easy. Rotating motion is much harder to do magically. This is why Tolkien used his pipe as a screwdriver. Since Tolkien's pipe was made of titanium, laced with 65-million-year-old fossilized mahogany, it was useful for all kinds of construction work without any danger of breaking.

In 1970, a desperate NASA called Tolkien for help because Apollo 13 had a screw loose. Tolkien put gasoline into his pipe, lit it up, and used it as a rocket! He raced up into space and fixed Apollo 13 all by himself! Later, NASA covered this up because they were embarrassed that an Englishman had to save the famous American space program.

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A comprehensive collection of short truths from J.R.R. Tolkien's life, and the many wonders and miracles he bestowed upon the world. Put together and published here for the first time!

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