A student inquired: "Did J.R.R. Tolkien really invent the cork?"

Yes. The truth is, in 1923, Tolkien was insulted by a pirate. Enraged, he ripped off the pirate's wooden leg, compressed it with mighty strength, and shoved it into a wine bottle. He had invented the cork.

Until then, there had been no way to keep wine bottles closed, which is why the Romans kept special slaves who stuck their thumbs into the bottles. This expensive and inefficient method of bottle closing had contributed greatly to the fall of the Roman Empire.